This is a picture of me and my sister, who is also my best friend. Photo credit to Justin Hackworth.
Tonight I had a short conversation with a birth mother that really made me think about something.
I have spent a long of time reading about birth mothers, trying to understand their experience, trying to prepare myself to support our birth mother in any way that I can. I understand that our adoption, our joy, comes at the cost of her great sorrow. I have all ready began to develop a love for our birth mom and I know that seeing her in pain will be very difficult for me. I want to find a way to absorb some of that pain for her. However, there is one fact I can't escape, I will never truly understand her sorrow and her experience.
This same conversation also got me to thinking about what our birth mom (if she even knows yet that she is to become a birth mom) thinks about me. She probably hasn't chosen us yet (or if she has we don't know about it yet.) But, she may have an idea of what her adoptive mom is going to be like. I have no idea what her perceptions of me are. I would like, however, to share my joy with her. Just as I would like to absorb some of her pain, I would also like to give her some of my happiness.
It's hard to communicate all of this. I want to get to know her, I want her to get to know us, and I want her to become part of our extended family.
Is this getting a little to0 philosophical??? Well, it was making my head spin a bit.
Music has a way of communicating things that we aren't able to communicate very well ourselves. I found these two songs. The first one was clearly written by a woman facing a crisis pregnancy. It helped me feel a little bit of the emotion that our birth mom is probably feeling. This song pains my heart and I listen to it and feel connected to her.
The second one, well, I'm not sure who (as in what role she was in at the time) wrote it, or who it was intended for. But it sounds like to could have been written for a birth mom from an adoptive mom, maybe even me. Listen to it and maybe it will help you understand my tender and tentative hope of meeting this woman who I hope will become like a sister to me.
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1 comment:
It is amazing how strong our birthmothers are. Lilly's birthmother is always telling US thank you. They are awesome and strong and valiant heros to their children. They are deffinition of selflessness, and unconditional love.
I've admitted to Lilly's birthmother that I would of never been able to do what she did, and I admire and love her sooooooo much because of the choice she made.
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